ANGELS
Hello everyone, Love and hugs out to all of you {{{xoxo}}}. My goals this week were to stay on top of my workshop assignments... doing this weeks assignment first and then going back to finish what needs to be done on last weeks when I have extra time. That was going to be my way of staying on task so not to get so over whelmed by being constantly behind and in catch-up mode (not a very creative state of mind, I might add). These past few weeks my intentions and desires have not been my issue, although a white canvas was a little intimidating, but once I got started, it was not what was holding me back…my health was. It wasn’t cooperating with my wants, needs and desires.
"Everyday is going to be different." I kept telling myself each and every morning. I'd wake up with the mindset that today is going to be the day where I feel great and I accomplish everything I set out to do….As always life sets in, and my plans for staying on top of things quickly got hijacked by life forces stronger than my own...another migraine set in and forced me back to bed, that makes 24 days of migraines out of 31 days. As I laid there trying to will my migraine away, trying to create the life I want by meditating on every little detail... I found that what I needed to do was to let go.... I needed to just let everything in my mind stop fighting the pain and see where it wanted to lead me instead of wishing I was someplace else and someone else...I was trying to control every aspect in my life when in reality I have no control at all over anything...
Once I was able to see that, be one with it, and accept the things I cannot change...the migraine seemed to lessen. Now it could be the magnitude of meds, shots and more meds that I took to rid my month long continuous life stopper, pain-in-my a******* or in my case head and a**…lol.... but regardless... it finally started to let up and I was able to at least sit up in bed. I quickly surrounded myself with my journal, crayons, watercolor pencils, and laptop. Listening to Tam’s soothing angelic voice talk me thought my exercise, making me laugh and want to talk back to her when she'd question herself; I found comfort, love and the ability to get lost in my art, forgetting about the pain that consumed my body.
Drawing my Angels brought about clarity and a sense of comfort and oneness. I felt surrounded by love! For some reason, I found this to be extremely funny because last week my Goddess choice was Katasee... Goddess of all that is, of all things, well-being, and unconditional love and healing.... While creating my journal pages, I came to the conclusion that these were all the things I wanted and needed in myself, my body, my life... right here, right now at that very moment. Realizing I had it…all of it right before my eyes; I just need to be present enough to see it, feel it, and enjoy it. Peace washed over me; my migraine was no longer sitting in my face no longer the elephant in the room, no longer controlling my every thought, no longer consuming my essence. I was surrounding by a glow of love, art, compassion and healing!
So here you have the start of my Angels. I still need to finish her wings and dress but at least I’ve started. I decided to do the assignment just as Tam was teaching, and then when I put my work on my watercolor canvas I'll make my Angels my own. I've also included the progress on week 2's Goddess painting, I still need to apply the college aspect of the Klimt's style to her gown and halo, but one step at a time.
Several months ago I was told to paint by a dear friend who recently passed, it was as thought he had an insight into my healing, he was very insistent that I give it a try again. At the time, I remember thinking he was crazy, I hadn't picked up a brush in years, I couldn't see what he did. Now.... the more I paint, the more I feel his presence and the more I understand. I am so grateful he nudged me back into painting. Every time I pick up my brush I feel so blessed and thankful.
ENJOY!
